


Go the Fuck to Medical

by LBibliophile



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Bingo Fill, Filk, Gen, Hiding Medical Issues, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Protective Phil Coulson, Swearing, Tony Stark Bingo 2020, but he's at his breaking point, to the level indicated by the title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22877497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LBibliophile/pseuds/LBibliophile
Summary: Phil Coulsonlikesthe Avengers, likes working with them. But when it comes to convincing them to seek necessary medical attention... the next person to complain is getting dragged there by their ear!For the Tony Stark Bingo 2020 - 3096 - K2: day-in-the-life
Relationships: Phil Coulson & Avengers Team
Comments: 17
Kudos: 41
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	Go the Fuck to Medical

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dixiehellcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dixiehellcat/gifts).



> This poem is based off the 'children's' book _Go the Fuck to Sleep_ by Adam Mansbach.

I know you have the serum, Steve  
But your wounds are full of gravel  
So unless you _want_ it stuck in there  
You’ll go the fuck to medical 

Clint, don’t you sneak away now  
You _know_ I saw that fall  
You jumped off a roof and now you’re limping  
So go the fuck to medical 

Yes, you’re busy, and would rather work  
But courting infection is just not practical  
_Tony_ , your projects and papers can wait  
While you go the fuck to medical 

Natasha, the mission is over  
Your black eye and more are starting to swell  
So _stop_ pretending, acknowledge your pain  
And go the fuck to medical 

You’re _not_ a medical doctor, Bruce  
Hence why we have real ones on call  
So when you need stitches, don’t even try  
But go the fuck to medical 

You might be an alien, or god, or whatever  
But Thor, you’re not _really_ that special  
You bleed and you hurt, so I’ll tell you the same  
To go the fuck to medical 

Avengers? Ha! Toddlers, more like  
And wrangling you lot is hell  
But you can be quite sweet, when you’re not in pain  
So just   
_Go_

 _To_ _fucking_

 _MEDICAL_! 

**Author's Note:**

> Title of Piece: Go the Fuck to Medical  
> Card Number: 3096  
> Collaborator(s): lbibliophile-mcu  
> Square Filled: K2: day-in-the-life  
> Ship/Main Pairing: Phil Coulson & Avengers Team  
> Rating: Teen (Language)  
> Major Tags/Warnings: Language (as indicated by title), Avoiding medical attention  
> Summary:  
> Phil Coulson likes the Avengers, likes working with them. But when it comes to convincing them to seek necessary medical attention... the next person to complain is getting dragged there by their ear!


End file.
